quote of the weekend:

"Lincoln needed to see that play like he needed a hole in his head." -Neil McCraw

Mr. T's fashion show

This video is the epitome of the 80's. Bonus: it's hosted by Mr. T!

Psycho screened tonight for my film class. Though I've seen parts and pieces of it out of order, this was the first time I've ever seen it in it's entirerty. An excellent piece of film.

my lesson for the day

Did you know:

If you ride your bike on the sidewalk in the city limits of the City of Columbia, it's a $440 fine? I didn't; at least, not until the cop stopped me and let me know.

The cop (ironically, who was on a bike on the sidewalk) said that the city ordinance is in place to prevent people from getting hit by bikers flying along by shop doors.

So from now on, I have to take my chances on the streets with the crazy motorists.

Thought to mull over

On the way into our kitchen, there's a note that reads: "...the world beyond our senses..." and above and below it are diagrams and notes of what we can't observe with any of our five senses. One of the better diagrams is a depiction of the electromagnetic spectrum. Think of it: the same waves that are entering your eyes and allowing you to read this are the same ones (albeit at a different frequency) allowing you to talk on your cell phone.

Anyone want to help me eat a family sized lasagna tonight?

The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene.

The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise.

It seems that a Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields.

Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket.

The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows:

The sergeant was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners.

The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock.

Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel.

Ironically, a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading
"How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-SHIT."

(This story won the 1995 Darwin award. Though it was confirmed bogus by Darwin, it's still one of my favorite stories I've ever come across online)

Qantas Airlines gripes and fixes:

After every flight, Qantas pilots fill out a form, called a "gripe sheet," which tells mechanics about problems with the aircraft. The mechanics correct the problem, document their repairs on the form, and then the pilots review the gripe sheet before the next flight.

Never let it be said that ground crews lack a sense of humor. Here are actual maintenance complaints submitted by Qantas pilots and the solutions recorded by the ground crews. By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had an accident with their aircraft.

Problem: Left inside main tire almost needs replacement.
Solution: Almost replaced left inside main tire.

Problem: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
Solution: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.

Problem: Something loose in cockpit.
Solution: Something tightened in cockpit.

Problem: Dead bugs on windshield.
Solution: Live bugs on back-order.

Problem: Autopilot in "altitude-hold" mode produces a 200 fpm (foot per minute) descent.
Solution: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

Problem: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
Solution: Evidence removed.

Problem: DME volume unbelievably loud.
Solution: DME volume set to more believable level.

Problem: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
Solution: That's what they're for.

Problem: VOR inoperative.
Solution: VOR always inoperative in "off" mode.

Problem: Suspect crack in windshield.
Solution: Suspect you're right.

Problem: Number 3 engine missing.
Solution: Engine found on right wing after brief search.

Problem: Aircraft handles funny.
Soultion: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.

Problem: Navigation radar hums.
Solution: Reprogrammed navigation radar with lyrics.

Problem: Mouse in cockpt.
Solution: Cat installed.

Problem: Noise coming from under intrument panel. Sounds like a midget pounding on something with a hammer.
Solution: Took hammer away from midget.

vade mecum:

vay-dee-MEE-kuhm
1. A book for ready reference; a manual; a handbook.
2. A useful thing that one regularly carries about.

(Vade mecum is from Latin, literally meaning "go with me.")

Therefore, my backpack is my vade mecum. Now I can really confuse people: "Yeah, let me run back in the house real quick and grab my vade mecum."