see my eyes open?

I am up at 2am.

Again.

It's occurred to me one more than one occasion that I should probably be in bed, say, two hours ago. But I stay up, reading, soaking things in, inane crap that I will never again reference. But I read it anyway. And now I'm blogging for what seems like no purpose.

This weekend promises to be interesting. Friday night is the first NBA game that I've ever seen live. Then Saturday is performance day. The day for the judging to occur. Trade and McDowell Street is still stuck in my mind from the practice exam two weeks ago.

The new toothbrush I got at the store today makes me happy. I'm going to go use it, then go to bed.

and so the daily grind presses on

I should be studying right now for my test tomorrow, but I'm not. Oops.

"Part J; Question 11: What, in your opinion, is the worst thing that you have ever done?" So says the application as I move through all forty-seven pages of my life, quantified. Can I find a more subjective question to answer?

Putting in more than one application is the part that makes me feel like I'm rushing things. Part of me says: Take it easy, man. It's all going to be ok. Sit back and relax. Then the other part of me tells me it's fine to place three applications in at once. I simply want answers. Now. But I'm told to be patient. And trusting. At least, that's what I told people tonight. It's oh so much easier to tell someone something and...yeah...well, that's true with everything. I hate trusting people.

And I feel like this entire shpeal has transpired before, on many occasions. There might be a lesson here.

Tomorrow is forecast to be Much Cooler than today.

We live in a beautiful world,
Yeah we do, yeah we do

I want to be strong and courageous.

Happy unimaginative, consumer-oriented, entirely arbitrary, manipulative, and shallow interpretation of romance day!

I currently have one hundred and fifty pages of paper sitting on my bed next to me. Paper that can decide the future of...well, my life. Job applications. All of this paper for two jobs. There's only about seventy actual pages that I have to fill out, but none the less, it remains a daunting task. One that I will leave for later, as now it is bed time. I hope to have these done and the preliminary parts sent out by Monday. We'll see how that come along.

Today was interesting. It was the first Valentines Day where I was content. Not wishing, not hoping, not wondering; content. I kinda liked it. It was nice. Not being selfish. For once. That said, tomorrow is going to be fun.

I should sleep. Probably a good idea. Goodnight.

SC tax EFT

It's amazing how a simple online banking statement will put your mind at ease.

South Carolina just sent me my tax refund check. I am suddenly not worried about my finances for the rest of the month. And the next. And the next.

Now that I've decided to put the different applications in, I have to print out 150 pages of application documents. Woot. Good thing I've got moneys now.

the un-necessary early morning

I really really don't like waking up early to get to class only to find out that the professor has canceled all classes for the day. Can't there be like an email alert that I can get at home so I don't have to go too far from my bed?

the hours continue to pass

As I lay on my couch, I realize that in twenty-four hours, I will have a much better idea of how the entry exam in two weeks will go.

I don't know what to think of this yet, but yesterday, I got an email from a recruiter. It contained an application and dates on which tests are conducted by which to apply prior to. Now, If I knew what to do with said information, it might not puzzle me so much. But it does. And thankfully, I'm not worried about it.

Boo. Class. Time for me to rot away. I need today's newspaper and puzzlers.

late night express

It's late. 1:58 AM, to be exact. I should probably be in bed right now. I am not.

The weather outside has gotten warmer, but not warm enough. It's just right. Just right to need a blanket. Just right to feel it blow by your face. Just right to feel it in between toes and not get cold. It makes me long for the days in the summer that I can sit on the porch and just watch the rain pour down in front of me. I wore sandals tonight. It made me happy.

Why can't I find my spindle of blank CD's when I need it?

Sleepy. Thank God for naps; they're sometimes the only thing that gets me through the day. I also despise the location of my English class. It's just in the right place for the ceiling to melt and green goo drip down from the lights and melt our eyes and ears and leave us with stumps for appendages and...thankfully it's only twice a week.

I'm having second thoughts about Friday already. Just about 3 seconds after I deceided that I was going up there. Not always the best. I have so many plans in mind. I just want to figure out what's the right one.

the upcoming practice exam

The young child walks with a skip in his step to the mailbox. That letter, the one from grandma or grandpa or uncle or aunt or dad on a trip, has the possibility of arriving today. As he nears the mailbox, his heart starts to beat faster. His mind can hardly contain his thoughts and it's all he can do to keep from running full tilt to get there faster. Is it coming today? What will be in it? He reaches his hand out to open the small door that hides letters and other parcels.

I turn the key and lock it back up. Nothing. Only the stupid advertisements that the local businesses I don't like send out for crap I don't need. Teaser letters, the "send military records (if applicable) back for additional candidate points" show up, only to leave me disappointed.

I take Charlotte's practice exam on Friday. I felt kinda dumb telling my boss that I was going to be late to work for a test that doesn't even count. Oh well.

Not that I'm nervous about it; far from it. I really am just not sure of what's going to be happening and going up to take a test for something that I'm not sure is going to happen makes me feel like I'm pushing plans. It's like what I asked for prayer for: I'm not worried. A job would be nice, but for once, I'm not worried about it. I think I was more proactive a year ago for employment for when I leave school than I am now.

note to self:

do not drink that much coffee in the morning again.

Thank you.

JRPAT

So, it's done. It fianlly happened. I am now officially signed up to take Charlotte's entry examination. After calling for over a week, I finally got in touch with one of the people in the recruiting department. And after a series of rapid-fire emails this morning, the sign-up process was complete. Now all I need is the letter in the mail and I'm set.

February 23rd, here I come.